"Your basil chapter makes me want to try every recipe!" said Tania. Earlier in the month I had bravely created a Facebook message asking for friends to read through my manuscript, 'herb by herb'. Confident about the herb info and observations I share, it’s the technical part of writing that gets me every time.
For the past 10+ years I’ve found joy in creating a dedicated herb garden after moving to Harrison. I still love to look at the photos I captured throughout those years; they are the optimistic piece to my puzzle of why I’ve stalled on the project this month. I knew there were typos and unclear passages sneaking past my eyes so I was grateful that within a couple days of finally asking for help, all the chapters were spoken for by girl friends. Even my busiest friend Tania made time to help me.
As the last chapters trickle in, I’m in the middle of prepping to delve into the book being printed and available online. Again I've been doing everything to avoid the finishing of ‘this part’ until I realized the flow of interruption I've created was me avoiding my biggest derailment- thinking about my sister's input and lack there of since her death.
"Where are you now?" I want to cry out thinking of Leigh-Ann. “At this juncture, I need you!" It was Theresa who said out loud what I’ve said to my self at times with soul-seeking clarity, ‘Leigh-Ann is here, helping.’ Leigh-Ann is my greatest task-master, my favourite cheerleader. Her enthusiasm throughout my adventures in gardening spurred me on to write down what I know about herbs. Her voice is so clear to me whenever I see borage, “You mean you can eat these blue flowers?”
Fall is the season when she came to our house to be cared for during Leigh-Ann's terminal illness. This time of year there are no more borage flowers, their blue stars have died down. While on a walk-about in our garden, I explain to our oldest grandchild Fraser “to everything there is a season”, as this phrase sinks in most days. Seasons pass for humans, and even sisters. I trust my friends like Theresa and Tania to help me in my processing, just like I trust spring will bring bring back the borage flowers. My sister is still here to help.
Flowers are beautiful angels of nature. - Doreen Virtue